Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
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This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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