im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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