She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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