put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
