WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
