sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
