I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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