so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
