Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
