So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
