I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
