What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Another day, another engagement, another cat
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
