so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize