OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dicks are not precious.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
