i just wanna soil my oats bro
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
ugly people sure do ruin things
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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