Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
