I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
