Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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