wakey wakey hands off snakey
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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