apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
