apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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