i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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