And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
