So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
