I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
