where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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