I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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