fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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