It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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