I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
