we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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