i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
