Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
