If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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