I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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