There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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