she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
