I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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