WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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