I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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