I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
