Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
