oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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