i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
