Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
