First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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