he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
