Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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