I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
