Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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