They should really pass out barf bags in church
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Houston, we have a blender
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
