I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
