at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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