I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
