Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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