She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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