She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
