3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
