You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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