I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
