Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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