I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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