i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
