It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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