rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
