She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
