I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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