I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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