I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
