Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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