is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
