I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
