im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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