Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
